Borders and boundaries in relationships

There was a TV show I loved called ‘Touch’ on SKY1 HD or Fox in the USA.  The following called out to me as I watched the episode this week.  For me it’s so relevant to everything coaching! – as well as in everyday relationships with everyone we meet and interact with.

” ….. I am me, but I must push past my borders, if I am ever to truly know you.”

From my own coaching practice over many years I feel so strongly that it is at the boundaries or borders, where we might feel unsure or unsafe, that there is the greatest potential for growing, moving forward, generating new thinking and understanding.  The question we were reluctant to ask, the clarification not requested, the challenge not made, because of our own discomfort, are all lost opportunities for new insights to be created for our clients.

Full text of quote:

“From the smallest amoeba to the grandest of galaxies, we define ourselves by our borders, our boundaries. I am me, therefore I am not you. We are safe within our territory, but borders can be places of instability, of danger. Cold fronts collide with wars. Dynamic energy explodes. And yet it’s at the edges, the frontiers between us, where ideas are exchanged, where knowledge is gained. I am me, but I must push past my borders, if I am ever to truly know you.  We cross borders, explore new frontiers. Frontiers of the heart, frontiers of the soul. And if we’re lucky, we come home again, having learned great lessions about our shared destiny. For the purpose of our travels, both the inward and outward, is not merely to see the unseen, but to bring those visions home… to share with those we love.”
– Jake Bohm on, ‘Touch’ season 2 episode 3, ‘Enemy of My Enemy’

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